Why don't kleptomaniacs get jokes?

Because they take everything literally.

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What do you call a joke with the wrong punchline?

To get to the other side!

Why is this joke bad for the environment?

Because it wasn't recycled.

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Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors?

Because they take everything, literally.

Why can't you tell a pun to a kleptomaniac?

They take things literally.