How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why did the blonde freeze a pot of boiling water?

Because you never know when you're going to need some boiling water.

Why do Greek men wear gold neck chains?

A: So they know where to stop shaving.

Fan Jokes More Fan Jokes

Whats the name of a bodybuilder whose a fan of the X-Men?

Huge Jackman

Who fans?

Tardis..... I will see myself out..

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why was the orphan so successful?

When he was told to "go big or go home," he only had one option. (I've posted this joke here before, but I believe I've been the first, so if you recognize it as a repost it's because I wanted to tell it again!)

What do you do if your computer hums?

Tell it to change its socsks!

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

What did Santa say when he saw your mom, sister, and girlfriend all together in the same room?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do men and tile floors have in common?

if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years.

What do you call a prehistoric humanoid who likes to take his time?

A meander-thal!

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Need to know ASAP.

Why did he do that?

Who is she What does that mean When did that happen Why How I need to go to the toilet. - Child, at the cinema

Thought Jokes More Thought Jokes

When Bruce Banner gets constipated do you think he turns into the Hulk?

just one of the thoughts I have during important business meetings

What is mitosis?

Those are the things on the ends of my feetsis. Thought of this during my last bio exam.

Garbage Jokes More Garbage Jokes

Why do black people put their garbage in clear trash bags?

So the Mexicans can window shop.

What's the difference between an elected official and a piece of garbage?

Garbage gets thrown out.

Thousand Jokes More Thousand Jokes

What do you call a thousand lawyers, chained to the bottom of the ocean?

A start.

How is Michael Jackson like the thousands of people outside times square on new years?

Once the balls drop, They're no longer interested!