Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors?

Because they take everything, literally.

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Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

Why did the student fail his physics test?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

What thoughts do Blondes have after reading these jokes?

A: None as usual... and they most likely didn't understand them either.

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why can't you tell a pun to a kleptomaniac?

They take things literally.

Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

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What is a simile?

It's like a metaphor.

Why is it so hard to explain metaphors to a kleptomaniac?

Because they always take things... Literally