Why did you arrest that doctor?

Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did the yoga teacher say to her land lord when he tried to evict her?

Nah Imma stay

Why are fish cleverer than humans?

Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

What was the poltergeist arrested for at the campground?

Possession within tent

Why was the Human Torch arrested?

He had firearms.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

What did the doctor say when he saw two fetuses being too affectionate in public?

Get a womb, you two."

Officer Jokes More Officer Jokes

What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?

Officer on doody.

What do you call a violent white man?

Officer

Pulse Jokes More Pulse Jokes

What's the worst thing that could happen?

If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

Why did you arrest that doctor?

Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse.