Why don't snakes have legs?

Because otherwise they'd be lizards.

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What's Mary short for?

She's got no legs.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your front porch?

Matt. Others:

Snake Jokes More Snake Jokes

What snake do get when cross a calculator with a steam engine?

A puff-adder

What do you call a snake that studies past events?

A HISSSSStorian.

Lizard Jokes More Lizard Jokes

What do you call it when your lizard doesn't know how to use the internet?

e-reptile dysfunction

What type of weed do lizards smoke?

Mariguana.