Why is there so much segregation today?

All Fridays Matter

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

How do you please all the people?

Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they all turn them the the wrong way.

How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!