Why would somebody punch a sheep?

Ewe wouldn't understand.

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Punch Jokes More Punch Jokes

What kind of punch hurts children the most?

A sandy hook.

How much credibility is there in that whole "you can punch yourself handsome" theory?

Asking for a friend.

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech?

Someone who takes everything literally

What makes a little bit of sense, but you'll never understand?

Hobos

Somebody Jokes More Somebody Jokes

Why did the washing machine stop?

Somebody threw the towel in.

Why is an Oklahoma divorce like a Texas twister?

Somebody's 'bout to lose a trailer.

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

How do you make a sheep jump off a cliff?

Put a redneck behind it.

What time zone are you in when you find a sheep stuck in a fence?

Mountin' time

Ewe Jokes More Ewe Jokes

What's the difference between Mic Jagger and a Scotsman?

Mic Jagger says "Hey you, get off of my cloud". A Scotsman says "Hey, McLeod! Get off of my ewe!"

What is a ram's favorite song on February 14th?

I only have eyes for ewe, dear