How did Bill Cosby find his daughter in the woods?

A: Pretty good

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What did the NFL Commissioner say when Adele turned down the Superbowl Halftime Show?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

Where can you find baby dwarfs?

At a dwarfanage

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What type of wood is the most expensive?

Hollywood! (Made this up while i was doing a project.)

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

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What do you do if your daughter starts smoking?

Slow down and use lube.

How did a mom figure out her daughter had hit puberty?

She kept wetting the bed.

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What did Bill Cosby say when he was arrested?

Hey, hey, hey, it was only a pudding pop!

What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both know when you are sleeping.