What did you do today?

Mum: Well, the builders that moved the garage came over and I paid them for their work done.

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

When you're away on a business trip, do you think about me?

Apparently "Only to stop myself from coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer.

How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What is school like?

It's terrible, we have to do all the work, but the teachers get paid.

Why wasn't the astronaut paying attention?

Because he was spaced out.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How long has this been bothering you?

Women: It started after work 2 days ago at 7pm. Men: I think it started in the 90's.

Who makes a million dollars a day?

Someone who works in a mint.

Garage Jokes More Garage Jokes

What's the difference between a meth lab and a Ferrari?

There isn't a Ferrari in my garage

What's the difference between a Lambo and 1,000 dead babies?

I dont have a Lambo in my Garage...

Mum Jokes More Mum Jokes

What do you call a trapped fly in a frying pan of stir fry?

Your mum

Why are you crying Ted ?

asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt.' 'That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.' 'But they are the only feet I have.'

Builder Jokes More Builder Jokes

What did you do today?

Mum: Well, the builders that moved the garage came over and I paid them for their work done.

How do you call Bob the Builder when he is unemployed?

Bob