Why are you crying Ted ?

asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt.' 'That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.' 'But they are the only feet I have.'

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

How are babies different from feminists ?

Babies grow up and stop crying

What's funnier than a crying baby?

A dead baby.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's the difference between a terrorist cell and a children's hospital?

Don't ask me man, I just fly the drones.

How do you tell the difference between a scientist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

What did Jarod from subway get on his first night in jail?

A foot long

Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping?

Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck!

Ted Jokes More Ted Jokes

Why did Ted get fired from his job?

Because he would only do the minimum?

Why did did the convicts escape?

Billy Eichner has a theory... Billy Eichner says I bet those escaped convicts are going to see Ted 2.

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

Why is everyone so obsessed with the idea of love?

If you're dying to be hurt so badly, I've got a baseball bat for that.

Why did the hipster's mouth hurt?

Because he ate pizza before it was cool.

Mum Jokes More Mum Jokes

How far have you gone with a girl?

I went to Canada with my mum once"

Why are you crying Ted ?

asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt.' 'That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.' 'But they are the only feet I have.'

Wrong Foot Jokes More Wrong Foot Jokes

Why can't Quentin Tarantino make a good first impression?

He's always getting off on the wrong foot.

Why are you crying Ted ?

asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt.' 'That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.' 'But they are the only feet I have.'