How do they tie things down on the space station?

They use astro knots.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do Australian emos use to cut their wrists?

Rise up lights

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the one thing a mechanic can't fix?

Stupid

What's the only thing working out at the gym?

The business plan.

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

Whats the difference between a noose and a leash?

How high you tie it on a tree.

Why did the black guy wear a suit and tie to his vasectomy?

Well, if I'm gonna be impotent, I'm gonna look impotent."