How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

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Poop Jokes More Poop Jokes

What's brown and rhymes with poop?

Snoop Dogg

How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet?

That thing hurts!

What goes in God's Toilet?

Holy crap.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

What's the easiest way to pay a musician?

Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.