Poop Jokes

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

What did one poop say to the other poop?

You smell

Why do bears poop in the woods?

So nobody will see their bare (bear) bottom!

What did the poop say to the pee when he was hitting on her?

I may be a two but your an eight..

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What did the Baskin-Robbins manager say to the employee that wanted to date a co-worker?

Don't poop where you scoop.

Why couldn't the poop get flushed down the drain?

Because it was deterred.

What did Captain Picard call his poop?

Captain's log

What does a witch take when she can't poop?

Hexlax

What did Noah do with all the poop?

Threw it overboard. it formed the UK. Taken from here:

Who's there? Orange. Orange who?

Orange you glad I painfully waited until I was done cooking your food to take a poop?

How bad is it to poop your pants?

It Depends

What do you give and take at the same time?

a poop

What's the difference between a bucket of poop and a lawyer?

A bucket.

Where were you supposed to poop?

2-year-old: The potty. Me: So why didn't you 2: I'm too busy.

How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

How do you fail a urine test with a clean sample?

Poop in the specimen cup.

What is a small, one story home made of poop called?

A dungalow

What do you call it when your Stepmother poops?

A Step-Stool

What's brown and rhymes with poop?

Snoop Dogg

What is it called when a hacker poops?

Logging out

What does Hulk say when he poops?

IBM!

What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

When you say you don't feel good "Are you pregnant?

people without kids "Do you have to poop " -people with kids

What do you call a sarcastic man who steps in poop?

Feces-tious

What do you call a poop that went to med school?

Dookie Howser

What do you say when a singer/songwriter poops on your car?

CELINE WUT R U DION

What if I have to poop?

D: Then you should go now. *awkward pause* "Thanks I feel better."

What does poop have in common with the Boston Rioters?

They're both revolting! *Baltimore. I clearly don't know my B-Cities.

When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

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How do you know when someone is a single mother?

Don't worry! They will tell you!

How can you tell if a dinosaur is visiting your house?

His tricycle will be parked outside.

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Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon yet?

It doesn't need cleaning.

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

Side Jokes More Side Jokes

Who wins?

Neither. France surrenders and Italy switches sides.

Why is being a politician more difficult than being a ventriloquist?

Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.

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What do you say when your GIF doesn't work?

You get the picture.

What did the defendant say when he saw his picture hung up in the courtroom?

I've been framed.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

What did E.T.'s mother say when E.T. got home?

Where on Earth have you been??!!" **Thank you, I'll be here all night... Edit: Thanks for da love Dr. Jones!

What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. EDIT: Spelled "Tyrannosaurus" incorrectly.

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Why did people use insulation containing deadly toxins?

It was asbestos they could do at the time!

What do a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?

A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

What would you like?

ME:What would YOU like W:Excuse me M:No one ever asks you, do they W:*tearing up* No.. they don't. Thank you.

What does the window do when the sun shines on it?

It gets Blinded I excuse myself out.

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What does a WoW player with tubercolosis say when he ends a conversation?

TBC

What do you call a conversation about weed?

A diskushion.