How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight?

She starts fitting into your wife's clothes.

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What is Shakespeare's favourite writing utensil?

I don't know, but it was either 2B or not 2B.

How do you know your friends are pleased with your Facebook post?

They like it!

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Start from scratch !

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Because it's hard to put out a Greece fire.

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What should you do when your girlfriend starts smoking??

Slow down and maybe use some lube...

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With arroz.

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Why do you keep talking about my weight behind my back?

Husband: Because when I get round to the front I've forgotten what I was going to say

How do you make a girl gain weight?

Marry her.

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What did the husband say to his wife when he tried pushing it in as much as he could, but it still wouldn't fit?

He said "I'm going to try on a different shoe size."

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I'd be surprised if you could fit two in there

Wife Clothe Jokes More Wife Clothe Jokes

When to leave your girlfriend?

When your wife's clothes start to fit her.

How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight?

She starts fitting into your wife's clothes.