How do you know which bear to talk to in a bar?

You have to read ursine.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if someone has run a marathon?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

What did the guy without hands get for christmas?

We don't know, he hasn't opened the present yet

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What about yours?

Me:I wouldn't know... I don't talk to him about you...

What did the pastry from Denmark say to the pastry from Norway?

Hey, I'm Danish. JK they're pastries, they can't talk.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

How do you get a job with Apple?

Be born in China.

What do you call a foreign born communist running for President?

Ted Cruz

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

What did Helen Keller say after being handed a cheese grater?

That's the worst book I ever read.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why did the chicken walk into the bar?

To screw in the lightbulb.

What's worse than a Redditor walking into a bar?

The Holocaust.