What did the guy without hands get for christmas?

We don't know, he hasn't opened the present yet

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if a blonde has been using your computer?

How do you know if a blonde has been using your computer? When there's white-out all over the screen

How many french men does it take to conquer Paris?

No one knows, it's never been done.

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

What band does Santa listen to while delivering presents?

Slayer.

What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys?

Leave my presents

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did Pinocchio say to Rudolph when he asked him what he asked for Christmas?

Quit being nosey.

What did Santa give the blind, autistic, paraplegic kid with down syndrome for Christmas?

Cancer.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What does a burning Mexican farm smell like?

Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico , and how the smell reminded him of tacos.

Why are you guys all sitting on the same side of the table?

DaVinci

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you do if a girl sits on your hand?

Try to get her off!

Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand?

Because she uses the other one to sing.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How do mob boss mules open doors?

With Don-keys.

Why did the little kid dance on the jar of jam?

Because the top said "Twist to open."