Why doesn't the guy with OCD ever get laid?

Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why does the Hound of the Baskervilles turn round and round before he lies down for the night?

Because he's the watchdog and he has to wind himself up.

What's the difference between having a job and being a homeless drug addict?

One takes over your life and turns you into brainless zombie and the other one makes you homeless.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What do men and hardwood flooring have in common?

Lay 'em right the first time and you can walk all over them the rest of your life!

What's the difference between me and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What did the shooting range instructor say to the guy in a wheelchair?

Parachute

What happend to the guys who kidnapped Batman?

They got Bale.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?

He wiped his bum.

Why do you want to learn jujitsu?

Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.

Ocd Jokes More Ocd Jokes

What's three times worse than OCD?

OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait the last time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait, the second time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait...

How many people with OCD does it take to fix a lightbulb?

Only one, but they have to turn it on and off 50 times before they're sure it's fixed.