How does Dalai Lama send emails?

With no attachments.

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How do Buddhist monks send emails?

They remove all attachments.

Why couldn't the Buddha hoover under the sofa?

Because he had no attachments

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Why couldn't Hillary rig the election like she rigged the DNC?

She deleted that email.

What's the difference beetwen public official and private employee?

Private employee starts work checking email. Public official starts works making a coffee.

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Why did the dog's friends send her home from the bar when she started to act strange?

They thought she might have been slipped a woofie.

What song did Russia send Ukraine for its birthday?

Crimea a river

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Why was the Dalai Lama not upset after he spilled spaghetti sauce?

Because it happened in the *past*a.

What did the Dalai Lama say at the hotdog stand?

Make me one with everything