How does one know a man is going to say something smart?

His senentences start with "A woman once told me.."

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know all Bernie Sanders' supporters are Harry Potter fans?

They all dress like Dobby.

How many Anti-Vaxxers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why did the little black kid start crying when he had diarrhea?

He thought he was melting.

What do you call an alligator trying to start trouble?

An instagator!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you give to a man that had everything?

Antibiotics

Why can't men get mad cow disease?

Because they're all pigs.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why was the orphan so successful?

When he was told to "go big or go home," he only had one option. (I've posted this joke here before, but I believe I've been the first, so if you recognize it as a repost it's because I wanted to tell it again!)

Why do you hate me?

me any time someone tells me I have to sleep on a futon

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What is Caitlyn Jenner's favorite song?

More than a Woman by the BeeGees

What did the woman say when she was diagnosed with cerebal palsy?

Nothing, she was too disabled to speak