How much hate does it take to qualify as a "hater"?

I hate tons of stuff.

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Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why such hate on Lance Armstrong?

I think his riding style is pretty dope.

Why did Mozart hate chickens?

Because they all they ever say is Bach! Bach! Bach!

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

Whatcha thinkin' about?

Taxidermist: Stuff.

How does Harry Houdini tell people to steal stuff?

Straight jack it.

Ton Jokes More Ton Jokes

How much does wonton soup weigh?

One ton, but I don't know anyone that'd wantonly order it.

Who was the heaviest of the Pharaohs?

King Two-ton-khamen.

Qualify Jokes More Qualify Jokes

What qualifies you to be a ninja?

Ninja: I just cut your head off. Boss: That's pr--*thump*

Why didn't Napoleon qualify for the urgent marrow transplant?

They couldn't get his bonepart