Ton Jokes

What was the name of the heaviest man in china?

Won ton

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What's the heaviest soup?

One ton soup.

What is heavy forwards but not backwards?

A ton.

What is heavy forward but not backward?

Ton

What happened when the joker dropped an elephant carrying a ten ton weight on Batman and Robin?

They became flatman and ribbon. has left the building.

What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on?

A: Anything you want. He can't hear you.

How many palindromes do I know of?

Not a ton

How much does wonton soup weigh?

One ton, but I don't know anyone that'd wantonly order it.

How do we not know what women want yet?

There are tons of conflicting lists all over the internet.

What do Auschwitz, Treblinka, and Sobibor have in common?

Tons of koffing spawns.

What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg?

Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.

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How much hate does it take to qualify as a "hater"?

I hate tons of stuff.

Who was the heaviest of the Pharaohs?

King Two-ton-khamen.

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Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What do me and my fridge have in common?

Were both empty inside and weigh a tonne

What gets easier to pick up, the more it weighs?

Women

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of tree hates company?

Sycamore trees!

What type of plant can you use to make phone calls?

A telefern

John Jokes More John Jokes

Why can't John complete a workout?

He tried, but it didn't work out.

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What's pink and sits on a piano chair?

Elton's John

What do you call a girl who's sitting in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette.

Tim Jokes More Tim Jokes

What famous person is a huge fan of trees?

Tim ber"ton

What makes you say that, Tim?

Well, you're standing naked in my closet..."

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

Why Russians never drive stick shift?

They really hate Stalin

Why was the chicken Russian?

To get to the other side.

Flatman Jokes More Flatman Jokes

What do you get if a huge hairy monster steps on Batman and Robin ?

Flatman and Ribbon !

What do you call The Dynamic Duo after they got hit by a steamroller?

Flatman and Ribbon

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

How did the newfie injure himself raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree

What time do Lumberjacks take their tea-break?

TREE O'clock!