Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What's the difference between Tinder and the PokemonGo app?

Nothing, it both requires swiping to find monsters in your area.

Why did the storm trooper get an iPhone?

He couldn't find the Droid he was looking for

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?

A: Violists.

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

What did the doctor say to the lizard who was complaining about problems performing in the bedroom?

It sounds like you have a reptile dysfunction.

How many IBM CPUs does it take to perform a logical right shift?

A: 32. One to hold the bits and 31 to push the register.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why did Jesus look so ripped during Crucifixion?

CrossFit

What's the difference between Mexicans and Jesus?

Jesus didn't have tattoos of Mexicans all over body

Manage Jokes More Manage Jokes

Why didn't Tarzan and Jane manage to save their marriage?

Because Tarzan was swingin' from three to three.

Why is ISIS so good at sports?

Even in high-intensity games they always manage to execute

Mate Jokes More Mate Jokes

What did the Navy battleship captain say to his first mate during a skirmish?

OC I think I'm feeling C6

What mammal dies after it mates?

Anyone that goes near my wife!

John Jokes More John Jokes

What is Lil' John's favorite exercise?

Squats, squats, squats squats, squats squats, squats, squats, squats squats. Everybody!

Why can't John complete a workout?

He tried, but it didn't work out.

Middle East Jokes More Middle East Jokes

Why can't there be peace in the Middle East?

It IS what it IS.

What's an argument in the Middle East but a compliment in the U.S.A?

You da bomb" "No, you da bomb!"

Luke Jokes More Luke Jokes

Why isn't Luke on the poster for The Force Awakens?

He's a bit Shywalker. I'm so, so sorry everyone.

How warm is the inside of a tauntaun?

Luke warm

Mark Jokes More Mark Jokes

Why couldn't Mark think of a dad joke?

Mark is black.

What did everyone think?

STEVE: PAUL: JANE: SARAH: MARK: DAVE:

Miracle Jokes More Miracle Jokes

What do Jesus and a nerd have in common?

Both are long-haired, live at their parents' till their 30's, and if they'll do anything, it is considered a miracle.

What other miracles can you do?

Jesus: I can varnish 'You mean vanish ' J: *running finger over a beautiful oak table* aha, not quite

Matthew Jokes More Matthew Jokes

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

What do Hurricane Matthew and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They'll both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV