What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg?

Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.

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Wave Jokes More Wave Jokes

What did the tsunami say to Japan?

nothing, it waved. Happy Thursday all.

What did one sea say to the other sea?

Nothing, they just waved.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What do you do if a girl sits on your hand?

Try to get her off!

What do you call a guy in a suit sitting in a tree?

Branch Manager

Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

What do snotty vegetables do when they see something they don't like ?

They 'turnip' their noses.

Why do elephants squirt water through their noses?

If they squirted it through their tails it'd be very difficult to aim.

Ton Jokes More Ton Jokes

Who was the heaviest of the Pharaohs?

King Two-ton-khamen.

What is heavy forward but not backward?

Ton

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)?

Cold turkey.

What's the best way to get bubblegum out of your hair?

Cancer

Beg Jokes More Beg Jokes

What's a man's idea of foreplay?

A half hour of begging.

Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

King Kong Jokes More King Kong Jokes

What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben?

He found time-consuming.

What should you do if you are on a picnic with King Kong?

Give him the biggest bananas.