King Kong Jokes

Why did King Kong go to the airport?

He had a plane to catch.

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What do you call a gorilla that got shot even though it didn't want to do anything wrong?

King Kong

What month was King Kong born in?

Ape-ril

How do you catch King Kong?

Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.

Why did King Kong.... Climb the Empire State Building?

He couldn't fit in the elevator.

What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty?

Are you my mother

Why is King Kong big and hairy?

So you can tell him apart from a gooseberry.

Why did King Kong join the army?

To learn about gorilla warfare.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a watchdog?

A terrified postman.

What should you do if you are on a picnic with King Kong?

Give him the biggest bananas.

What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema?

Miss most of the film!

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What do you get if King Kong sits on your piano?

A flat note.

How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it?

With a monkey wrench.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a budgie?

A messy cage.

How much did King Kong get paid for his latest movie?

A gorillian dollars

What's brown and furry on the inside and clear on the outside?

King Kong in clingfilm

What do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend?

A flat mate.

Where does King Kong sleep?

Anywhere he wants to.

What is as big as King Kong but doesn't weigh anything?

King Kong's shadow.

What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg?

Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog?

A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.

What do you do if you fiend King Kong in the kitchen?

Just don't monkey with him.

What business is King Kong in?

Monkey business.

What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben?

He found time-consuming.

What did the big ape say when he dialed incorrectly?

Oops! King Kong ring wrong."

What does King Kong and a black person have in common?

neither of them can't speak english and are unemployed.

Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong?

He didn't like Chinese food.

What do you get if King Kong falls down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a snowman?

Frostbite.

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What did the chinese pirate say?

Awwlllll!

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http://www.reddit.com/r/Youwritethepunchline/comments/2zg1zy/whatdidthedrunkenirishmansaytothechinese/

Film Jokes More Film Jokes

What's a bridges favourite genre of film?

Suspense tion

How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.

Picnic Jokes More Picnic Jokes

Where's the food and why are you naked?

Me: "Am I doing it wrong This is my first picnic."

What did the llama say when asked to a picnic?

Alpaca lunch!

Empire State Building Jokes More Empire State Building Jokes

What's big and hairy and climbs up the Empire State Building in a dress?

Queen Kong.

What's Chinese and climbs the Empire State Building?

Ping Pong

Statue Jokes More Statue Jokes

What has four legs but doesn't move?

A: A statue of a dog!

How do you know the Statue of Liberty isn't French?

It doesn't have both arms raised. And yes I know the French manufactured the Statue of Liberty and gave it to the United States

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

How many Freudian psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the ladder and one to screw your mother - I mean light bulb!

What do you call a mother who is overweight and poor?

Beef on WIC

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why do women like roses?

Because they are pretty and hurt you.

Why won't pigs take up jogging?

They don't like to get that far from the table.