How to tell if someone has Rhotacism?

Ask them to pronounce it.

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How can you tell which is the head nurse?

The one with the dirty knees.

How do you tell if Lady Gaga is dead?

You poker face!

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What did the Canadian eel say when the bartender asked him if he'd had enough?

No, I think I'd like some more-ay.

Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant?

They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, "That'll be $5". I should be able to say, "That'll be a sandwich."

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How do you tell the difference between a Fabric Designer and a Science Professor?

Ask them to pronounce "LATEX"

How to tell if someone has Rhotacism?

Ask them to pronounce it.