What am I doing with the rest of my life?

I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many paranoids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who wants to know? .... saw this joke in today's

Why do conspiracy theorists have such long beards?

Because they don't know how to use Occam's razor

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What has a beginning and an end, but nothing in the middle?

Life.

What do you call someone who isn't a redhead but colors there hair red later in life?

A trans-ginger

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

Why did the circus animals go on strike?

The elephants found out that they were being paid peanuts compared to the rest of the troupe and the ringleader was taking the lions share.

How many Kardashians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one as the rest of the world simply MUST revolve around them...

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

What if the Bad News Bears literally gave you bad news?

Bear 1: You're adopted Bear 2: The cancer is terminal Bear 3: This tweet ain't funny

Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"