What did Jesus say to Melchior?

Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!

Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

Gold Jokes More Gold Jokes

How can you tell the Ethiopian diplomat at a political function?

He's the one with the gold Rolex around his neck.

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke :)

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What's in the bottle?

Me: "It's water." Cop: "This is wine." Me: "What! That Jesus! He did it again!"

Why didn't Jesus cross the road?

Because you can't cross a road when your nailed to a cross