What did one toilet roll say to another toilet roll?

People keep ripping me off.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

How many people with Alzheimer's did it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side.

Why does the news keep telling people the pilot was depressed?

Does any of this really matter...

Rip Jokes More Rip Jokes

Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper?

Because it was ripped.

How did Humpty Dumpty get ripped?

Wall-sits.