What did the bear say to the judge?

I bearly touched her.

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Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What has 3 thumbs and was born near a nuclear power plant?

This guy

Why are you letting people touch your new born?

I don't let people touch my new iPhone

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What do cannibals put in their soup?

Ramen! Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching.

What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What do you call a gangster who is really in touch with his emotions?

An emo-g

What's the difference between virgin olive oil and extra virgin olive oil?

thick Italian accent* "She don't even touch it."