What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

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Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket?

Because two halves make a whole (hole) and you could lose your money.

Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense ?

So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.

Force Jokes More Force Jokes

What do you call a Bear who is just learning to use the force?

A PANDAwan learner.

What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

Conductor Jokes More Conductor Jokes

What did the rubber say when he was offered a job as the high school choir teacher?

I can't, I'm not a conductor." Pffffffhehewheheheheheh.

What do you call a drummer who has lost one of his drumsticks?

A conductor.

Resort Jokes More Resort Jokes

What did the roach say after a series of disappointing hotel stays?

This is my last resort.

Whats the difference between white people and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop its own cultures without having to resort to stealing others.