What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

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Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What do you call a pizza who's a DJ?

DJ Beazza Yes it's a stupid pun, but that's a good 50% of my humor, the other half being sarcasm.

What do you call the western half of Kenya?

Kenya West

Force Jokes More Force Jokes

What do Jedi say on May 4th?

May the force be with you just like every other day because they have no concept of our Gregorian calendar.

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

Conductor Jokes More Conductor Jokes

What did the rubber say when he was offered a job as the high school choir teacher?

I can't, I'm not a conductor." Pffffffhehewheheheheheh.

What do you call a drummer who has lost one of his drumsticks?

A conductor.

Resort Jokes More Resort Jokes

What did the roach say after a series of disappointing hotel stays?

This is my last resort.

What did the muslim man say when he arrived at his resort in Hawaii?

Aloha Snackbar!