Force Jokes

What do you call it when old people are forced into slavery?

Indentured servitude.

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What do you call a Bear who is just learning to use the force?

A PANDAwan learner.

What do you call a group of armed nuns enforcing the status quo?

a force of habit

What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

Why does Luke Skywalker never have trouble getting laid?

Because he always uses the force.

How is Ducktape like the Force?

It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds everything the galaxy together. Edit:Duct Tape I know, I was tired

What would you call a terrorist organisation run by wielders of the dark side of the force?

ISITH

What would Steve Urkel say if he used The Force?

Jedi do that?

Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?

Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.

Why couldn't Frodo drop the Ring into Mt. Doom?

Force of Hobbit.

What did the science teacher say when the kid was experimenting with magnets?

May the force be with you"

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What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?

A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Why do you want to be Jedi?

Imagines using 'the force' to steal everyone's cats and building a cat army To keep the peace

What did Darth Vader say to the Internet?

May the force e-with you.

What do you call the family members of the Force?

Force-kin My friend made this up today while talking about Star Wars.

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

What's the difference between a kid and a drawer?

A drawer won't scream when I force my junk into it.

What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?

A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

What do clothes and religion have in common?

Someone invented them and forced them on everyone.

What do jedi hate the most?

Forced jokes.

How about some snappy one-liners?

Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.

What do you get when you cross a Jedi with a nun?

a force of habit

Why couldn't the Jedi open the door?

He didn't use enough force...

Why was the doctor forced to leave work early?

The hospital ran all out of patience

What do Jedi say on May 4th?

May the force be with you just like every other day because they have no concept of our Gregorian calendar.

Why is the Force like duct tape?

It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together.

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production?

Role tied.

Why did Stephen get an A on his test?

He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

What do you call it when someone forces you to watch them take their clothes off?

A power strip.

Why did Darth Vader get suspended from the Police?

He was under investigation for excessive use of Force

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Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car ?

Because she'd never be able to learn the language

Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they often spend years at C EDIT: made it more punny

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What machine should I use at the gym to impress girls?

The ATM

What kind of operating system do horses use?

None. Horses are not known to use operating systems nor computers for that matter.

American Jokes More American Jokes

Why don't american have a bullet train?

They use the bullets to train the military.

Where do Americans buy their groceries in Afghanistan?

At the infideli counter.

Persian Jokes More Persian Jokes

Why were the Persians attracted to the Anatolian Greeks?

Because they were Ionic.

How do Iranians speak on the telephone?

Persian-to-Persian (person-to-person).

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

Why do emo's always act so sour?

Because you can't spell Lemon without emo.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

How do you describe the bears?

Fast and Furious 7

What do you call a bear that's been in the rain?

A drizzly bear, of course

Aircraft Jokes More Aircraft Jokes

What is the friendliest kind of aircraft?

A Hello-copter.

What kind of Aircraft is into Men and Women?

A Biplane.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How does a mathematician get rid of constipation?

He works it out with a pencil.

What did you do today?

Mum: Well, the builders that moved the garage came over and I paid them for their work done.