Carpet Jokes

Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft?

The Carpet store

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What is a snowman's favorite kind of carpet?

BRRR BRRR

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.

What's the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

What type of carpet do you put in an igloo?

Burr-burr

What do you call a skinned, animal-throwrug for your vehicle?

A carpet.

What do you call a Pixar film about Carpets?

A Rug's Life.

What do Mexicans put under their carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

Why does carpet never make a sound?

It's the world's quietest pervert.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the Mexican put under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?

Carpet burn

What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile?

A: A carpet.

What does Speedy Gonzalez keep under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

How did Aladdin die?

Carpet bombing.

What do Mexican's put under their carpet?

Underlay

What did the carpet say to the floor?

Don't move -- I've got you covered.

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ?

He wanted to see the floor show !

Why do carpets in white folk houses always need vacuuming?

Crackers always leave crumbs.

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together ?

Carpet !

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Whats the problem with running through a field of dead babies?

Your erection....

Why aren't broken bones a problem in India?

Everyone is already in a caste

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How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp?

Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

What kind of Aircraft is into Men and Women?

A Biplane.

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What do you call a dog that goes to the beach?

Ballroom blitz

How did your blind date go?

Bit of a disaster really, our guide Dogs started Fighting

Alcohol Jokes More Alcohol Jokes

What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?

Tequila Mockingbird!

Why bother?

They're only going to buy drugs or alcohol with it!"... oh, like I wasn't !

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What's the difference between having a job and being a homeless drug addict?

One takes over your life and turns you into brainless zombie and the other one makes you homeless.

What's the darkest joke you know?

I've always been a fan or dark humor, so, what's the darkest joke you know. no boundaries, no getting offended. please don't downvote anyone because you find it offensive, that's life, get over it.

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Why couldn't the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes?

A: She couldn't find the recipe.

How are children like cellphones?

If youve lost one and havent found it in a couple days, chances are its probably dead.

Solution Jokes More Solution Jokes

How many IT guys does it take to Fix a printer?

Three, one suggests to check if it is plug in, another recommends to reboot the printer, and finally one to check to see if the printer had paper and laugh about how easy the solution was.

What is another name for sunscreen?

SOLution

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel!

Why type of lightning likes to play sports?

Ball lightning