Monastery Jokes

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in a monastery?

Nun.

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What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

How many pretty girls are there at a monastery?

Nun.

What did the Gregorian monk say when he was kicked out of the monastery?

Give me one more chants!

Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners of the monastery?

Because they have no attachments.

What do you you say when a monk tries to kick you out of the monastery ?

Namaste

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What did the shoelace say when I tried to tie it?

Uh, like, can you knot?

Why did the boy peek down the toilet bowl?

He was trying to find Winnie the Pooh.

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What do a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?

A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

Why don't women work as long and as hard as men in the office?

They do it right first time.

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Why couldn't the Buddha hoover under the sofa?

Because he had no attachments

Why couldn't the Buddhist monk send his mother a birthday card via email?

He had no attachments.

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What did Zelda tell Link when he couldn't unlock the door?

Triforce

What do you call a monk that operates a door unlocking service?

A monkey. (p.s. I have a wonderful, terrible love for bad jokes)

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What's the difference between a joke and a pretty girl?

sometimes i get the joke.

How many pretty girls are there at a monastery?

Nun.

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How many Brexiters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Woah woah woah... I never said there was a lightbulb!

How many Apple Geniuses does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, we just swap out your whole house

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What did the black dude say when his hippie girlfriend asked him to go to burning man with her?

Namaste here

What does the hippie say when you tell him to get off your couch?

Namaste (better to say it aloud)

Nun Jokes More Nun Jokes

How many Catholics can you fit in a habit?

Nun

What do you call a nun with a drinking problem?

A bad habit