What did the guy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

Cancer.

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

Why did the football player laugh when he broke his arm?

Because it was humerus.

What does an Italian... What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other?

A speech impediment. AY!

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

Why did Oscar Pistorius lose his court case?

He hadn't got a leg to stand on.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob.

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What if the Bad News Bears literally gave you bad news?

Bear 1: You're adopted Bear 2: The cancer is terminal Bear 3: This tweet ain't funny

What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why is Santa always so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. You've probably heard this one before. But it's Christmas tomorrow so what the hell.

What kind of cards do donkeys send out near Christmas?

A: Mule-tide greetings.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a lake?

Bob

What's the best kind of guy to get fingered by?

One with Parkinson's disease!