What did the mermaid do last Saturday night?

She went out with the tide.

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Tide Jokes More Tide Jokes

Why is the state of Israel like laundry?

Its a part Tide

What did the sea say to the river?

You can run but you can't tide!

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?

A: It swells at night.

What do you call it when the women in the back of a mexican brothel talk after working all night?

Whorechata. Probably my best original, lemme know what you think.

Mermaid Jokes More Mermaid Jokes

How does a mermaid give a man head?

She blows him out of the water

How did the mermaid get into a car crash?

because she was fish tailing!

Saturday Jokes More Saturday Jokes

Why do Physicists make terrible parents?

They think their children are small enough to neglect! Adapted from a Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, I forget which one.

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!