What did the really ugly man do for a l...

What lives in a tree and is dangerous?

A crow with a machine gun.

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

What's Adam Levine's favorite holiday?

Halloween Halloween Halloween!

What's a hillbillies favorite holiday? Halloween.... Do you want to know why?

Because they like to pump kin.

Pose Jokes More Pose Jokes

What do you call a self-referential question posing as a joke setup?

Not funny. Except in that you know, "heh, meta" kinda way. Heh, meta.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

Ugly Man Jokes More Ugly Man Jokes

What happened after the ugly man married the beautiful blonde?

They had a wedding reception.

What did the really ugly man do for a living ?

He posed for Halloween masks !