What did the sorting hat say to the quadriplegic?

Stay here, I'll just go on ahead.

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Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What's Irish and stays out all night?

Patio Furniture

How to tell an Irishman from a Scotsman on St. Patrick's day?

One wants to stay drunk all the time and the other doesn't want to pay the tab.

Sort Jokes More Sort Jokes

What the hell is this REstraining Order?

I never even got a Straining Order I'm gonna go over to her house and sort this out.

Who do you think I am?

Some sort of karate expert I can't even open a Cheetos bag.

Quadriplegic Jokes More Quadriplegic Jokes

What's the best part of dating a quadriplegic?

Spinning her like a top when she rides you cowboy style.

What do you call a Quadriplegic in the ocean?

Bob. *I'm so sorry*