What do Congressional Republicans and ISIS in Afghanistan have in common?

Their first act since arriving was to go after the elderly.

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Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

What do you call a condensed version of the history of ISIS?

What do you call a condensed version of the history of ISIS? CaliphNotes!

What does the ISIS donkey say?

Jihaaaad

Afghanistan Jokes More Afghanistan Jokes

Why is it so hard to keep track of counting in Afghanistan?

Because of the Taliban (say it out loud)

How did I get from Afghanistan to Iraq?

Iran.

Arrive Jokes More Arrive Jokes

When did John McEnroe arrive at Wimbledon?

About tennish.

Why do we live in a society where pizza arrives faster than police do?

Because the pizza guy has consequences for not doing his job correctly. "Oh damn, shots fired!" But not by the pizza guy.

Republican Jokes More Republican Jokes

How do you save a Republican from drowning?

Take your foot off of their head.

Why do Republicans make good DJs?

Because they know how to shut the House down.

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom?

If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy

Which burgers love to act?

Ham-burgers!