What do ghosts watch if they want to relax?

Skelly-vision!

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Why are some musicians so antisocial?

Because all they want is tonics and dominance.

Why do Europeans hate American food?

Europeans don't want to die yet. Unlike Americans who don't wanna diet.

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What have you done wrong if the wife keep complaining when you try to watch TV in the living room?

You made the chain too long in the kitchen.

How do you fix a womans watch?

You dont. There is a clock on the oven.

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What did one ghost say to another?

I'm sorry but I just don't believe in people.

When do ghosts have to stop scaring people?

When they lose their haunting licenses.

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What did the man get for winning the muscle relaxing contest?

Atrophy!

What's my type?

Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.