What do you call a black guy wearing an ankle bracelet?

A stay at home dad

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What do you call a white guy with 2 black guys in the back of the car?

The police. What do you call a black guy with 2 white guys in the back of the car Uber!

What do you call a black guy with a fan?

Antique air conditioner.

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What clothing designer do vampires prefer to wear?

Alexander Fang

What do retards wear on their heads?

Handicaps

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What do you get when if you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic and an agnostic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

What did the homeless yogi say when told to leave the yoga studio?

Nah, I must stay.

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What does a suicidal teenager do on the weekends?

Hang at home.

Why do the Heisenberg operators for position and momentum work from home?

Because they won't commute.