What do you call an awkward questioner?

I don't KNOW, that's why I **asked** you. God.

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How would you feel if I die?

Husband: I will go mad with grief. Wife (a bit glad): You wouldn't remarry, would you Husband: You never know. A mad man can do anything!

How many Brazilian national football players does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows - every time they pick one up, they end up giving it away.

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What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit !

When people say "May I ask who's calling?

I like to say "Sure, go ahead."

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Why did God make farts smell?

So that deaf people could enjoy them too.

Why do neurologists think they're God?

Because they can turn any animal into a vegetable!