What do you call bacteria that can swim fast?

Micro Phelps.

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Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

What did the New York Salmon say to the driver?

I'm swimming here!

Why can elephants swim - and aardvarks can't?

Aardvarks don't have trunks!

Bacteria Jokes More Bacteria Jokes

What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito?

ME-coli

What's the difference between bacteria and rednecks?

When looking at bacteria you can actually find some culture.