What do you call presents after you've opened them?

Pasts

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Present Jokes More Present Jokes

What will Tesla build this christmas to help santa deliver presents?

An elf driving car

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?

We don't know she hasn't opened her presents yet.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How do you open a banana safe?

With a monkey.

How do government employees wink when they're at work?

They briefly open one eye.

Past Jokes More Past Jokes

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)

What do you mean I can't change the past?

logs on to Wikipedia*