What do you say when you are trying to scare your girlfriend?

Boo bae! (Read aloud please)

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Why did the beer get bottled?

He was trying to dodge the draft.

Why did the poor dog chase his tail?

Because he was trying to make both ends meet.

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How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

What do you get when ant's parents won't let him marry his girlfriend?

Antelopes.

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When she read the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?

I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."

What will never be read in braille?

Do not touch.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?

One is white and scares young children and the other is a ghost.

What a plates scared off?

Ebowla.