What does a condom have in common with a coffin?

Ones for coming and ones for going.

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Who came up with hugs?

The very first hug must have been really creepy. "What are you doing Why are you holding me " "Just trust me."

Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

because Santa came early! I'll let myself out.

One Jokes More One Jokes

How can you spot a racist in a crowd?

They're the ones shouting "Black Lives Matter!"

Whats the difference between congress and parliament?

Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

How about if I put a balloon over it?

Would you touch it then " -guy who invented condoms

What size box of condoms do you never want to buy?

The family size.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now?

Probably clawing at the inside of his coffin.

What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that."