What is the chance we are alone in the universe?

Professor: Astronomical.

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Universe Jokes More Universe Jokes

Why does the universe expand?

All the Milky Ways. You get it.

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in place, another to rotate the universe around it.

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

What can run out before you've had a chance to use it?

Slaves.

Why do the /r/jokes moderators like chess?

It's the only chance they have to mate.

Professor Jokes More Professor Jokes

Why do failing college girls always screw their professors?

Cause they want the D.

Why was the professor cross-eyed?

Because he couldn't control his pupils!