Why does the universe expand?

All the Milky Ways. You get it.

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Where did the universe attend college?

At the university.

How does the universe throw a party?

They planet.

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Why is the universe expanding?

It needs more space.

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

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Why didn't galactus consume the milky way?

He was galactose-intolerant. I'm sorry.

Why couldn't the boy look at the Milky Way?

He was galactose intolerant.