Milky Way Jokes

How do Canadians say Milky Way?

Milky Eh.... Get it?

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Why didn't galactus consume the milky way?

He was galactose-intolerant. I'm sorry.

Why couldn't the boy look at the Milky Way?

He was galactose intolerant.

Why does the universe expand?

All the Milky Ways. You get it.

Where does a cow stop to drink?

The milky way!

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What did the man say when he realized the boy who asked him out was an orphan?

No home oh

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

GLOVES! Just kidding, he hasn't opened the box yet.

Expand Jokes More Expand Jokes

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

Why does the universe expand?

All the Milky Ways. You get it.

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What do you get if you walk under a cow?

A pat on the head.

What did the cow do when the farmer was about to hit him?

He mooved

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

How can you tell if a Canadian is an existentialist?

Instead of saying "I'm an existentialist, eh." They will say "I'm an existentialist, ... be."

How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ?

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and Sasha Grey?

The look on their face while being nailed.

How did you find the steak, sir?

The man looks at her and says "I just moved the potatoes."

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What did the bartender say to the girl that tried to steal a drink?

It was worth a shot.

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Consume Jokes More Consume Jokes

What does a bartender give you when you need the feeling of a strong drink, but you're not allowed ton consume alcohol?

Xanax since he's a Bartender

What did the man who ate a clock say?

That was time consuming but I still want seconds.

Universe Jokes More Universe Jokes

Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?

Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.