What does a bartender give you when you need the feeling of a strong drink, but you're not allowed ton consume alcohol?

Xanax since he's a Bartender

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Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

What kind of fruit isn't allowed to get married?

A cantaloupe.

Why aren't you allowed to smile when taking your driver IDs?

Because you won't be smiling when the cops pull you over.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What is the worst part of a prostate exam?

Feeling the doctor's hands on your shoulders.

What do you get when you have barbie dolls standing in a line?

A barbie queue (BBQ)! Also, I made a quick sketch on my iPad. I found the genesis to this joke as a text note in my Evernote this morning, after what seemed like a night of free flow beers. Feel free to downvote me to oblivion.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What is the magic word?

son: Natasha Dad: who is Natasha son: your lover Dad: do you need also a case

What are some good fruit jokes?

My friend is doing a video project for school and needs fruit jokes.

Consume Jokes More Consume Jokes

How many fish did it take to consume my wife?

None. There are no fish under my new gazebo

Why do whales have really good immune systems?

They consume a lot of vitamin SEA!

Xanax Jokes More Xanax Jokes

Why does a Mexican take Xanax?

For his Borderline Personality Disorder.

Why does the American Border Patrol guard take Xanax?

To stop Hispanic attacks.

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

Why would Bart Simpson never go to a pub?

Because there's a BartEnder there.

How do you pay a bartender?

With bar tender.