What's 18 inches long, and makes a woman scream the entire night?

Her dead baby.

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What did the computer technician say to the woman about her virus infected laptop?

Ma'am, we cleaned your dirty bits and suggest getting a bigger hard drive"

Why did they invent the shopping cart?

To teach women to walk on their hind legs.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What do you call an alpacca that screams when it sees fire?

A smoke aLaama.

How do people know spiders are more afraid of me than I am of them?

Like, did you ask him Because only one of us is screaming right now.

Dead Baby Jokes More Dead Baby Jokes

What's funnier than a dead baby?

Dead baby in clowns costume.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a room?

Depends on how you throw (idk if this is a repost)

18 Inch Jokes More 18 Inch Jokes

What is 18 inches long, pink, squishy, and makes women cry?

SIDS

What's 18 inches long and never gets used?

Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.